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First pot, then cocaine, heroin, and meth. Now eggs

Life often imitates the Babylon Bee. So I am surprised they misfired a bit on this issue, although I admit they came close enough to count.

Customs and Border Protection is apparently having a bit of trouble controlling the illegal flow of eggs over the Southern border, although it’s not clear if this includes any Humpty Dumpty incidents at any of the too few places where the border wall is complete.

So The New York Post informs us.

With eggs topping $8 a dozen in some cities, the kitchen staple has become a clandestine commodity — smuggled across the southern border for shoppers hoping to save on soaring prices, Customs and Border Protection officials told The Post.

There’s been an astounding 108% increase in eggs confiscated at ports of entry in the last four months, CBP told the Border Report.

Customs officers have seen rising cases “in the last week or so where the eggs were not declared and then discovered during an inspection,” CBP spokesman Roger Maier told the Post Thursday.

“When that happens the eggs are seized and the individual is assessed a $300 civil penalty,” he said, adding penalties can go up to $10,000 for repeat offenders or “commercial size imports.”

Most of the problems seem unrelated to hard-boiled criminals who are evading the long arm of the law, but perhaps there are low-flying planes packed with dozens of eggs to be sold on the black market. Street corner dealers stocked with meth, fentanyl, heroin, crack, and of course eggs. Suburban moms in their minivans cruising the urban neighborhoods looking for egg dealers. Young men are lured into a life of crime, perhaps even setting up backyard chicken coops unmonitored by the FDA.

The US war on eggs is bound to be another failure, although our prisons have yet to fill up egg dealers. The FBI is overwhelmed with their efforts to discover caches of classified documents stashed in presidential homes, or combing through social media posts in search of conspiracy theories that Joe Biden is a senile hair sniffer.

While federal agents often encounter shoppers who confess to having eggs, a bigger problem arises for people hiding them.

“If you declare it, we’ll pick them up — no penalty issued,” Payne said. “If you fail to declare or you attempt to smuggle it, it’s going to be a penalty.”

Either way, all eggs end up in the incinerator, the agency said.

I am skeptical about all the eggs winding up in the incinerator. Eggs have too much value on the black market to simply dispose of them, and CBP agents may be tempted to hide a few in their pockets before heading out the door.

Me, though? I would be too chicken to try that.

When such large sums of money are involved, some of those eggs might end up being poached by the agents. Values get scrambled by temptation, and as we know the Biden Administration has made a hash of border enforcement. It’s quite possible that CBP is coddling some agents who bend the rules.

If some Americans’ rights are trampled in our effort to control the illegal flow of eggs into the country, as has happened in our failing war on drugs, we should still support the efforts of CPB. After all, you have to break some eggs to make an omelet.

It is worrisome that eggs have gotten so expensive that Americans would take the risk to smuggle them, but I have confidence that the market will take care of the problem.

I like to keep looking at the sunny side, up.

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